Best $6000 You'll Ever Spend

These are This is a pictures of a Swedish doll made of silicone.

The texture of the skin is similar to 99.8% OF THE HUMAN SKIN.
It will last two years if used constantly and consistently every day....

Completely adjustable to any position you want.

100 sensors spread around the body.
There are 30 sensors on the private parts.
Each sensor makes her move in a specific way,

up to 20 positions..

On penetration she emits a light gentle sound that echoes gently in your ears.Comes with inbuilt sound in the throat and recognizes up to 16 commands that are extremely personal up to two meters away from her ears.When there is any type of pulsation sensed in her private parts she emits light moans of stimulation.

Above all that she gets wet with a slight touch over any of the sensors..

Most important she has a voice password which should be protected from disclosure.

Principal characteristics: She has three entries (vaginal, anal, and oral)

She can move her head in any direction you choose..



Completely customizable to your liking so you can

choose the following:
SIZE
HEIGHT
SKIN COLOR
EYES COLOR
HAIR COLOR  
PUBIC HAIR COLOR OR COMPLETELY SHAVEN.

NUMEROUS ADVANTAGES AND FEW DISADVANTAGES.

ADVANTAGES..

* She does not speak
* She does not get fat
* She never has periods
* She never goes shopping
* She does not get pregnant
* She does not have a mother
* She never ever gets headaches
* She does not go to the hairdresser
* She does not watch soaps or Oprah
* She does not care what we watch on TV
* She does not frequent internet chat rooms
* She will never get elderly human physical attributes
* She will not get jealous if you bring home another
* woman
* She will not nag if you go out and she won't care
* when you return


Only  $6000.00

Why spend way too much time looking for answers on stupid websites.

For the Ladies



For the Men

My god, how desperate do you have to be?

Image by Jeff the Trojan via Flickr

Eddie got so desperate that he went to her and said, "I will give you $1000 if you let me have sex with you." The girl looked at him shocked and said, "Hell no!" He said, "I'll be real quick; I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend over to get it, and I'll be finished by the time you've picked it up!" She thought for a moment and told him that she had to ask her boyfriend. So she called him and explained the situation. Her boyfriend says, "Ask the guy for $2000. Pick up the money really really fast, and he won't even have time to get his pants down!" She agreed and accepts the proposal. 2 hours go by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend to call back. Finally after another fifteen minutes he calls and asks, "What the hell happened?!" Heavily panting, she managed to reply, "It's all in quarters!"

A boy asks his dad: "What's the difference between theory and reality?" His dad replies: "Go ask your mom if she'd sleep with the mailman for a million dollars."

The boy asks his mom and she says "heck yeah". The boy returns to his dad and says "Mom says yeah."

"Okay, now go ask your sister the same thing."

The boy asks his sister "Would you sleep with the mailman for a million dollars?" Without blinking an eye she says "In a heartbeat!"

The boy goes back and says "Dad, she would too."

"Son, that's the difference. In theory we're sitting on 2 million dollars, and in reality we're living with a couple of whores."

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Time to mess up with EVERYONE!

{The Set}

You know how I won that beautiful wife of mine? I just was myself, just like the author of this book . . . a real dick!

Image by funadium via Flickr

Studies in Crap:
How to Pick Up Girls!

Author: Eric Weber

Publisher: Symphony Press, New York

Date: 1970

Discovered at: Goodwill, Bonner Springs

The Cover Promises: Much that the book fails to back up.

Representative Quotes

Page 21: “The point of this story is not that the girl was 'bad' or 'fast' or 'avant garde.' All it indicates is that normal, healthy young chicks like sex. Want sex. And, most important, will be glad to have sex with you if you only ask them.”

Page 85: “March in a peace demonstration. Even if you're for war. I've heard countless stories of guys who have picked up fantastic broads in peace demonstrations.”

In his introduction to this “foolproof guide to meeting women,” author Eric Weber -- a sort of horn-dog Sherpa to the brave new world of 1970s promiscuity -- describes what he considers a familiar situation. You're a guy, walking down the street, and you see this girl: “Someone so absolutely stunning, so downright sexy, you actually find yourself running to catch up with her . . . For an instant you even consider rape.”

The good news: If you've studied Weber's system, you recognize that force isn't necessary. Instead, you've been hipped to a world-changing secret that gets a full chapter here: “Women Get Horny.” {Read on}

How to Pick Up Girls! - Eric Weber

Simply Radishing.

The right way, the wrong way, or the way that I do it, Gentleman.

Image via Wikipedia

An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam. I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?" "Yes, I know," said the lady. "But I need both my hands to hold onto this hat."
"But madam, you must know that you are not wearing any panties and your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I bought this hat just yesterday!"

We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for ...?~ Lily tomlin

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are all to give speeches to the Deaf Society. All are keen to make an impression on their audience.

The Englishman goes first and to the surprise of his colleagues starts by rubbing first his chest and then his groin. When he finishes the Scotsman and Irishman ask him what he was doing.

Well" he explained" By rubbing my chest I indicated breasts and thus Ladies and by rubbing my groin I indicated balls and thus Gentlemen. So my speech started Ladies and Gentlemen".

On his way up to the podium the Scotsman thought to himself I'll go one better than that English bastard and started his speech by making an antler symbol with his fingers above his head before also rubbing his chest and his groin.

When he finished his colleagues asked what he was doing. "Well" he explained" By imitating antlers and then rubbing my chest and groin I was starting my speech by saying Dear Ladies and Gentlemen".

On his way up to the podium the Irishman thought to himself I'll go one further than those mainland bastards and started his speech by making an antler symbol above his head, rubbing his chest, and then his groin, and then masturbating furiously.

When he finished his colleagues asked him what he was doing. "Well" he explained," by imitating antlers, rubbing my chest and then my groin and then masturbating I was starting my speech by saying - Deer Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure..."

But where in New York can one find a woman with grace, elegance, taste and culture? A woman suitable for a king...? Queens.

Image by dejahthoris via Flickr

An elderly couple was watching TV when a TV evangelist came on air to pray for the sick.

The evangelist said.. "For those of you who are sick, I want to pray with you so that you can be cured of your sickness. Place your right hand on the part of your body that is suffering from disorder, and raise your left hand." The husband placed his right hand on his privates, raised his left hand, and closed his eyes. His wife saw what he did, and slowly whispered, "Honey, this prayer is to heal the sick, not to raise the dead!"

Bumper to bumper, Butt to Butt, Get Off My Ass You Crazy Nut!

Image by Genista via Flickr

Two priests are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals.

One of them looks at the other one's penis and notices there's a Nicobate patch on it.

He looks at the other priest and says, 'I believe you're supposed to put that patch on your arm or shoulder, not your penis.'

The other one replies, 'It's working just fine. I'm down to two butts a day.'