Damn, that Nigga fukka was Nasty Ass Crazy!

http://www.youtube.com/user/dcigs

If you have no sense of humor, what do you do for fun?

NSFW. Profane! Drugs! and Hilarious

Caspa & Rusko - What Was That Cockney Thing He Said?

Not my chair, not my problem. That’s what I say.

18+ extreme language...yeah enjoy!

Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands.

Valentines Day this Sunday. Make a date for that and have standing her up on that date be the beginning of never talking to her again.

“Don’t be pussy-whipped, whip that pussy! Bang! Bang! Bang!”

Hard for me to share this, but thank Christ this is anonymous.

I've been with this girl for five years, through most of college. We're both 25 yrs old. We lost our virginity to eachother, we've talked about marriage.. even having kids someday. I've had my chances, but never cheated on her. SERIOUSLY. A couple of close calls, but I never pulled the trigger and I'm very proud of it.

Last weekend, a friend of mine rented a lake house for his bachelor party, so I was gonna be out of town doing the Guy thing. The lake is about 40 minutes outside of the city, so I wouldn't be far.

While me and the guys were partying at the lake house, my phone went off (it was my girlfriend's number), and I answered it only to hear giggling, "flirty" talk and kissing noises. Listening closely, I knew it was her voice talking to some guy. She had pocket-called me by mistake and didn't realize the phone was on.

I was shaking but listened until the phone cut off for whatever reason. It was the worst feeling, like my legs went all rubbery and I told my friend at the party what just happened. Pretty soon, all the guys rallied around me telling me to call the bitch and confront her. One of them said if I called her, she'd just deny it and make up a lie-- I also agreed and felt I should do it in person. Since I was drunk, my buddy drove me to her apartment and her car was there, lights were on, so I knew she had some guy over at her place.

I admit that I became a creeper and looked in through one of the windows. I hope none of you ever go through what I felt in that moment, because it is worse than dying-- I could clearly see that she was giving this douchebag a blowjob. I won't go into it, but I was too shocked and sick to do anything at the time, so I got back into the car and we drove back to the lake house. The rest of the weekend, I was just physically ill and ruined the vibe at the party.

I haven't said anything to her yet because after the shock came the anger. It's wrong, but the next time I saw her, I secretly went through her phone and found txt msg's-- the guy's name is Theo and apparently ALL they're about is the sex. There weren't any phone calls from this guy, it seems like they just talk through txt's, which is weird. Every single txt msg was sexual in nature, stuff she never said or even did with me.

Long story short, I'm angry, my life is fucking ruined and she has the nerve to ask me what's wrong with me lately. It's been hard not to just come out and expose her, but I wanted to clearly think it through before throwing away the past 5 years of my life with this person. Except I CAN'T think clearly. I'm mad and all I can think about is getting revenge and hurting her in the same way.

This is lame, but -- What the hell should I do?? A part of me wants to be above getting revenge... but at the same time, I want to hurt her the same way she hurt me. I really don't think I can spend my life with someone who lied and betrayed, especially not after SEEING her with another guy.

At this point, nothing matters or makes sense, and I've been humiliated in front of everyone and she doesn't even know it yet. I can't be with her anymore, but I want her to pay some kind of price. I don't care how much more embarrassing it gets for me, I want some kind of revenge and I KNOW I am in the RIGHT.

 Fuck it, whoever has the best, most fitting revenge plan, I'm GOING TO FUCKING DO IT. This is for real. HELP ME.
{...and the story continues }

"I don't always do coke but when I do, I do it off the end of a fucking machete."

Image via Wikipedia

Okay - first off - I only speak a little Spanish and my spelling's crap so please excuse. Anyway - me and a buddy had been travelling around Chile and Bolivia a few years back doing a bit of snowboarding. We had been trying to get our hands on some weed with very little joy. Anything we managed to score was really weak and the deals really poor. Finally we twigged that coke was the local stimulant of choice and was pretty readily available. Well it was the end of the holiday so we figured what the hell.

We'd had a fair few beers and were feeling pretty ballsy so we hailed a cab and I (as the only somewhat capable Spanish speaker) asked directly if he could take us somewhere where we could score some coke. The driver's cool with this and starts driving us around the dodgier neighbourhoods of downtown Santiago asking hookers and pimps and general lowlives if they can help us out.

Eventually this seriously rough looking mofo agrees and gets into the front seat beside the driver - me and my mate in the back. So this dealer turns around to face us and he's like 'Cuanto grammes quieres?' I'm like 'Solo uno - gracias'. He's all 'No - no, cinco'.

So i figure fuck it - why not? It's cheap as hell so I agree. He turns away fro a sec and when he looks back at us again I see he's holding a huge fucking knife, serrated edge and all and he's pointing it directly at me. I'm like - oh fuck. This is the bit where we lose all our money, passports and maybe a kidney. It's only then that I spot a little pile of white powder on the tip of the blade and he's like' Quieres probar?' So cool as anything I lean forward, snort it off the end of the dagger and like some fucking connoisseur I'm all ' Si - es bueno. Cinco grammes.' I felt like a badass motherfucker.