pradeep recommends a page from The Onion.
The recommended page is: McDonald's Birthday Party To Be Happiest Time In Child's Life
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Monday, March 31, 2008
McDonald's Birthday Party To Be Happiest Time In Child's Life
`This is National Geographic for adults. Everyone's curious to watch their neighbor.'
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This is without a doubt one of the funniest, down to earth, reviews I have ever read on Amazon.
Amazon.com: drew m's review of Electrolux EL 6989A Oxygen Ultra Clean Can...
| 1,165 of 1,205 people found the following review helpful:  I Hate This Vacuum, December 27, 2005
I hate this vacuum. Every moment I use it is a chance to ruminate on how much I hate it. Seriously. I vacuum around the house saying to myself, "I hate this vacuum. You know what? This is a really terrible vacuum. I don't think I like this vacuum. Oh wait, did I just suck up the dog?" It was clearly designed by someone rich enough to never have to use it. Let's start with the basic setup. The main body of the vacuum is something you drag behind you as you go from room to room. This would be a great thing if the house you're vacuuming happens to be empty. And maybe in Sweden or Switzerland or wherever they designed this godawful piece of garbage, that's all the rage now. But if you're someone who happens to have furnished their house with things like chairs and tables (and even the occasional ottoman), this means the Electrolux is constantly getting stopped by whatever objects you had the audacity to place in its way. With an upright vacuum, you don't have to drag anything. But you have to constantly drag the Electrolux everywhere you want to go. I'd like to drag it behind a truck going 150 mph, but that's about it. Then there's the main, carpet-cleaning attachment of the Electrolux. I hate this attachment. First off, the attachment allows the main handle from the vacuum to be turned to the right, and to the right only. I even checked it for an hour just to make sure I hadn't made a mistake. Nope. This is the only way the attachment turns on the handle. Why? Who knows? Probably just to annoy me, because I paid $600 for the stupid thing. Oh sure, I can turn my hand and vacuum my carpet Gangsta-style now, but otherwise this is the kind of design flaw that makes you want to drive your Honda through Bed Bath & Beyond, just to get even. And, if anything, this attachment sucks too hard. Like that fringe on your oriental rug? Sorry, the Electrolux thought that was lunch! But every rug could use a good shearing now and then. Also, the motor in the attachment spins so hard it makes controlling the thing darn near impossible. But hey, at least you can turn the handle to the right. Did I mention that you can only get bags for the Ultra through Electrolux, and that the bags have to be shipped to you? I didn't? Don't worry, no one told me either. The other attachments aren't so hot either. The attachment we use to vacuum the hardwood floor is stiff and cumbersome. And the coiling tube that goes to the main handle is almost always, without fail, twisted up in an awkward fashion. Listen, I'm a simple guy. This is clearly what I get for being dumb enough to buy a $600 vacuum. I'm sure the Electrolux has the sucking power of 1,000 Kevin Federlines, and can filter out all the potential carcinogens and death spores I've been told pollute our air. But this isn't rocket science. It's a vacuum. You know why I vacuum? So that stuff looks like it's been vacuumed. That's all. Basic house vacuuming can be easily accomplished with any $100 Hoover out there. You can probably get one at a yard sale. Or maybe you can get my Electrolux at our next yard sale. If I'm sneaky enough, the wife won't notice. I hate this vacuum. |
Kumari the girl next door ? No,not that Kumari
Kumari Fulbright, a law school student and former beauty queen who has posed for a racy calendar while brandishing a weapon (right), has been accused of kidnapping, biting and threatening a former boyfriend with a handgun. (AP photo / Tucson police / January 2, 2008)
http://www.urbangrounds.com/images/Kumari_Fulbright.jpg
http://www.urbangrounds.com/images/Kumari_Fulbright.jpg
An American law school student and former beauty queen who has posed for a racy calendar while brandishing a weapon has been accused of kidnapping, biting and threatening a former boyfriend with a handgun.
Kumari Fulbright, 25, who is midway through her second year in law school, faces a long prison term if convicted of kidnapping, armed robbery, aggravated robbery and two counts of aggravated assault.
Fulbright, who competed for the Miss Arizona title in 2005 and 2006, recently completed a semester-long unpaid stint clerking for a federal judge, US District Judge Raner Collins.
She also poses wearing a shiny black bikini in a 2008 calendar that features women holding guns.
In the December 18 indictment, Fulbright is accused of holding and torturing her 24-year-old ex-boyfriend in early December with the help of three other men, including another man she had previously dated.
Authorities think the dispute began because the ex-boyfriend was believed to have stolen jewellery given to Fulbright by the former beau suspected of helping in the attack.
Fulbright invited the man to her apartment, then excused herself to shower, said police spokesman Sergeant Fabian Pacheco.
Then two men showed up and bound him with plastic ties and duct tape, accused him of taking the jewellery and threatened to shoot him with pistols, Pacheco said.
When Fulbright finished her shower, she allegedly bit the man on his forearm, right hand and ear, held a butcher knife to his head and told him she was going to kill him.
Authorities said the man was taken to another home, where the assault continued, then took him back to Fulbright's house, where she guarded him with a gun.
The man finally managed to free a hand and grabbed the gun, which discharged but hit no one, authorities said.
As their struggle spilled outside, the man screamed for help, then ran to a home down the block, while Fulbright returned to her apartment, Pacheco said.
"He has some bite marks on him, evident and consistent with his account, and his hands were red and swollen, consistent with someone who had been tied up," Pacheco said.
A police complaint said the suspects stole the victim's wallet, money clip with $US500 to $US600 ($565 to $680), mobile phone and briefcase.
Tucson police are seeking to serve Fulbright's former boyfriend, Robert Ergonis, 44, and his brother, Michael Ergonis, 46, with arrest warrants charging them with kidnapping, armed robbery and aggravated assault, but believe they may have fled the country.
Another man who was indicted with Fulbright remains jailed under $US50,000 ($57,000) bond, but Fulbright was freed after arranging to have a similar bond posted.
Calls to Fulbright's lawyer, Thomas Hartzell, and to the Miss Pima County pageant, which Fulbright won in 2005, were not returned. She also was selected Miss Desert Sun in 2006.
A spokeswoman for the University of Arizona, where Fulbright attends, said it was premature to talk about what could occur in terms of discipline. She and other faculty members declined further comment, citing student privacy.
Why are some belly buttons "innies" and others "outies"?
Image from WikipediaThe Straight Dope: Why are some belly buttons "innies" and others "outies"?Dear Cecil:
You may not think the following question is too cosmic, but let's face it, the topics you address in your column seldom are. How come some belly-buttons are "innies" and some are "outies"? --M.E.L., Los Angeles
Cecil replies:
You may think this column is trivial, M. I think you just don't grasp the implications. Assuming the attending physician didn't bungle the job, the incidence of "innies" and "outies" appears to be random. 
The accepted procedure for cutting the umbilical cord, which is usually done a few minutes after birth, is to place two clamps on it near the junction with the kid--an ordinary surgical clamp on the placenta end and a special plastic gizmo on the kid end, a centimeter or two from the abdomen. Then you cut in the middle.
Within a week or so the stub becomes necrotic (i.e., dead) and falls off, leaving, ideally, a concave scar. The vagaries of fetal development and the healing process being what they are, however, sometimes you get an "outie," which, apart from any embarrassment it may occasion at the beach, is harmless.
Worse things can happen. Sometimes the skin of the abdominal wall doesn't reach the base of the cord, and a wide raw area is left that heals slowly. This is called an amniotic navel. Other disorders can result in urine or other bodily fluids leaking through the navel.
If things really aren't going your way, you may be born with a ghastly deformity called an omphalocele, in which the intestines bulge out through the abdominal wall by way of the navel. I'm in no hurry to discuss this in detail. Be grateful.
--CECIL ADAMS
Favorite Celebrity Curse Words
Britain's Channel 4 asks loads of celebrities to share their favorite swear words. What's yours?
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Weird Motherfuckers Roundup
Man hires stripper for dad's funeral Thursday, March 13, 2008
Angered boy takes man's car
VICTORVILLE - A 16-year-old boy who was solicited by a man for sex acts became so angered by the proposition that he punched the man in the face and carjacked him, sheriff's deputies said.
A Taiwanese man hired an erotic dancer to perform at his 103-year-old father's funeral.
The stripper danced in front of Cai Jinlai's coffin for more than ten minutes at the funeral in Taizhong town. Son, Cai Ruigong, paid her more than £80 to dance in memory of his late father.
Cai Ruigong says he promised his father a stripper for his funeral if he lived beyond the age of 100. Cai Jinlai passed away at the age of 103 after a three mile walk into town to vote. He was the oldest person in his village and had more than 100 descendants. His son said his father was famous locally for his interest in strip clubs: "He would travel around the island with his friends to see these shows," he added. ananova
Angered boy takes man's car
Teen solicited for sexual acts
Melissa Pinion-Whitt, Staff Writer
Article Launched: 03/13/2008 12:58:59 AM PDT
San Bernardino County sheriff's deputies arrested the boy and the man who they said solicited him, 22-year-old Terry Richardson.
"Sometimes one wrong is reciprocated by another wrong and it creates a situation where both people are guilty of doing something illegal, unfortunately," said sheriff's spokeswoman Karen Hunt.
It was a case of victim-turned-suspect when Richardson pulled alongside the boy near Seventh Street and Desert Knoll Drive about 4:30 p.m. Tuesday.
He handed the boy a note, soliciting him for sex acts, sheriff's officials said.
Deputies weren't sure of everything that happened next, but they said the boy became angry and punched the man in the face.
The boy's rage frightened Richardson enough to cause him to run from his car.
That's when the boy decided to get revenge, deputies said.
"When the guy left his car, his general attitude was `I'm going to show him and I'm going to take his car,"' Hunt said.
Richardson called the Sheriff's Department after the boy drove from the scene.
A deputy heading to the scene spotted the boy and the stolen Honda CRV several blocks away. The boy was pulled over, arrested on suspicion of carjacking and booked into Juvenile Hall in Apple Valley.
A serious WTF is in order
Fleeing shoplifter forgets son
Thu Mar 20, 11:27 AM ET
A shoplifter looking to make a quick getaway from a Dutch supermarket after stealing a packet of meat left police a crucial piece of evidence -- his 12-year-old son.
In his haste the 45-year-old thief made a solo dash to his car, batting away a supermarket worker who had flung himself on the vehicles' bonnet in a bid to stop the escape.
Police in the southern Dutch town of Kerkrade said they managed to contact the thief via the boy, but he had refused to return and collect his son. The man told officers to get hold of the youngster's mother instead.
The thief later turned himself in Thursday, a police spokeswoman said.
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