Thursday, April 15, 2010

The absolute capriciousness and arbitrariness inherent in the phrase "for the purpose of being lurid."

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In recent news, a woman with 40 LL sized breasts almost (accidentally) killed her husband during sex (using her breasts): . In light of this (the husband is fine), we've found the 11 most notable examples of people unexpectedly dying during or because of sex. (The first two are Popes!)

The 11 Craziest Unexpected Sex-Related Deaths In History.

1. Not one, but TWO Popes have died in delicato flagranto morto (Latin for "caught dead with your pants down"). We didn't want to cheat you into a redundant list, so we've condensed all the sex-related deaths died by a Pope into one item! 

a. Pope John XII (955-64) was getting his nub rubbed when an irate husband murdered him out of jealousy. 

b. Pope Paul II (1467-71) allegedly died while being sodomized by a page boy. The Pope had it hard back then, not having the resources to delegate his work out to lower Priests. Too soon?

These two popes paved the way for two other casanovas of the same names who would eventually join a rock 'n' roll supergroup and revolutionize music as we know it.

2.French President Felix Faure went down while getting his twig and berries harvested. While the official cause of death was "a stroke" the actual cause of death was a little more juicy (please God, no pun intended). 

Faure suddenly died from apoplexy when engaging in extramarital sexual activities with his young office assistant. 

The poor lady is said to have gotten so scared over the event that she got lockjaw and had to be removed from the president's member via crowbar/surgery. 

Clinton doesn't know how good he had it. 

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