Mom could you move all the yellow books after the green ones and do the rainbow the next time...please?

How dumb are we...America?

Modesto, CA residents turned out for the city's annual Ninja Parade, where no ninjas were seen for the 30th year in a row.


Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again

Now Are You ready for What Happened Next?

Great Solution

Read more on Urinelle - The Urination Funnel here

It's every man's dream to have a penis so large that he must hire a small boy to carry it.

Unintentionally sexual comic book covers

I was going through a stash of old comic books the other day, when I came across several that seemed a bit odd; not in the sense that the comics were strange or unique, but rather, because beneath the seemingly innocent veil of child-like artwork was a subtle nod towards debauchery. The artists who created these covers probably never meant for them to to be used as spank fodder, but being the mean-spirited, immature, asshole that I am, I've decided to do the only thing that a grown adult would do: point out juvenile observations of unintentionally sexual acts on comic book covers.

	1. Moon Pilot The caption on the cover suggests that the comic is about an astronaut who crash lands his rocket into a spongy yield of hot alien vagina. The picture, however, suggests a completely different story. Now, I'm no expert on primate facial expressions, but I think the look on the monkey's face can best be described as: concerned. Of course, I too would be concerned if a moon-bound astronaut mistook me for being a girl from outer space and wanted to make sweet love to my monkey butt. And maybe I'm reading too much into this, but you can only see one of the astronaut's arms on the cover. I'll let you connect the dots, but I can say this much: I've only seen a grin like that on a man's face one other time, and my parents made sure to lock the door from that day on.
	2. Blek le Roc This is a French comic that comes from an artist whose work first appeared in a magazine called "Pim, Pam, Poum, Pipo" (a name considered pompous even by French standards). The cover depicts a jubilant young male wielding a giant, burgeoning, meat staff, beating some poor schlub senseless over the head. I shudder to think how the story would unfold from this point, but I think one could safely assume that it would involve: lubrication, limping, and the humiliation associated with being raped by a giant slab of salami (if any).
	3. Superboy When I came across this comic, I was surprised to find not one, but two covers depicting Superboy as a whipped-ass bondage slave: Of course, the spanking on the cover implies that Superboy has indeed done something to earn the title of a "bad boy;" perhaps in between brief stints of preventing robbers from burglarizing booty, Superboy was caught robbing booty from burglars. Whatever the misdeed, his father has taken it upon himself to spank Superboy's pasty white ass raw, in what can only be concluded as an attempt to debase the puritan moral code of its time with depraved sadomasochism.
	4. The Rifleman You could arrange a boy holding a pile of wood, and a cowboy staring knowingly into his eyes all day long and not get a more suggestive pose than this. For the sake of critical analysis, I've decided to make a silhouette of just the cowboy and the logs shown here: It's every man's dream to have a penis so large that he must hire a small boy to carry it.
	5. Tarzan I can only imagine the condition of a society in which a comic featuring wet, well-trimmed, virile young man gazing romantically in a monkey's eyes could be published without raising some serious red flags. A closer inspection of the monkey's face tells an unspoken story of forceful, untamed monkey love: The monkey is seen here massaging its neck, perhaps in duress from the pain caused by having blood vessels ruptured in the back of its throat, undoubtedly from eating a banana too quickly; either that or wang.

That's it for part 1. I just bought a new keyboard, so if you're wondering when part 2 will be posted, feel free to email me so I can break in my delete key.

3,843,273 comic book covers were engineered with the intent to subvert the innocence of children.

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/

ONLY IN GHANA DOES ONE GET BURIED IN STYLE

Many Ghanaians are dispatched to the hereafter in a coffin shaped like a lobster, or a chicken, or a bottle of Coca Cola

For the Ga tribe in coastal Ghana, funerals are a time of mourning, but also of celebration. Though Christian, the Ga maintain a strong tradition of animist belief that puts a special significance upon the power of symbols. The Ga people believe that when their loved ones die, they move on into another life and the Ga make sure they do so in style. They honor their dead with brightly colored coffins that celebrate the way they lived.

The coffins are designed to represent an aspect of the dead person's life such as a car if they were a driver, a fish if their livelihood was the sea, a soldier would select a gun-shaped coffin. or a sewing machine for a seamstress. They might also symbolize a vice such as bottle of beer for a heavy drinker or cigarette for a 'chimney' smoker.

An unrepentant heavy drinker has chosen to be buried inside a beer bottle

A polished uterus waits to be picked up by a gynecologist

The coffins cost between $300 and $800 in a country where many live on barely $2 a day. The fantasy coffin says what a thousand words could not for most Ga people. A majority of the people from the Ga community are illiterate . There are no articles or magazines written about most individuals. Thus they feel that with the provision of a coffin like this, everybody who sees it will know. Buying a good coffin also offers a chance, some believe, to calm an angry spirit, who could wreak havoc from the next world.

A fitting tribute to a remarkable life

International collectors and museums pay up to US $2000 for this elaborate wood craft. The coffins take weeks to shape, sandpaper and polish so as to make the it attractive. After weeks to get the shape complete and then it is in the grave. "It is better to have it in the gallery or museum and then everyone will see it," one coffin craftsman notes.

Why be buried in a boring coffin, when you can get handmade coffins that look like a Mercedes Benz, lobster, onion, shoe, beer bottle, even a cigarette?

Even for those who are athletic, Shoe coffins are in plenty

http://saharanvibe.blogspot.com/

Man wins the best "How is your day?" question with: struck by bus, dragged under bus, crawled out, THEN came into the office

Conversation Is Going ‘Round, People Talking ‘Bout the Girl Who’s Come to Town

Quagmire's Lines For Lovin' The Ladies

{Via}

How To Hide An Unwanted Erection

In the right place, an erection is a wonderful thing. But an out-of-context boner can cause embarrassment. We'll show you how to shackle your tackle and hide your hard-on.

---

Step 1:

Clothing choices

If Mr. Happy is constantly coming out to play then make your clothing work for you.
There are lots of techniques to disguise your junk - the secret is in choosing the right combination.
Tight underwear can help to keep your tiger in its cage, but it does bunch things up rather.
So combine with some loose trousers to hide the resulting bulge.
If you're more of boxers man, then wearing loose, light clothing like linen trousers or jogging bottoms is fatal - if the circus comes to town, your little clown will have no problem pitching his big top where everyone can see.
So with boxers, wear fabrics like thick denim which are too heavy for your little body builder to bench-press.
For added protection wear a loose, long shirt that will hang down and conceal your shame stick.

---

Step 2:

Body positioning

When your little man becomes a rebel with a cause, lean casually against a wall, lifting one leg and resting your foot behind you. This should cause ol' James Dean to run parallel with your thigh rendering him almost invisible.
Watching the world go by can be a hazardous activity, willy-wise. In a man-root emergency, act immediately by positioning your body to create space between your trousers and your jolly pink giant.

---

Step 3:

Use the fist

Negate the impact of an incriminating dingaling by placing your hand in your pocket and curling it into a fist. To the onlooker, the bulge is your hand, not your he-ham.
Depending on how strongly you're straining at the leash, you may also need to pull your hand away from your body slightly. Alternatively place a large object - like an oversized wallet or a bottle of water - in your pocket to create the same effect.

---

Step 4:

The cover

If all else fails, find a suitably incongruous object to conceal your flesh-flute. Make sure it's in keeping with your surroundings though - remember, subtlety is the name of the game.

---

Step 5:

Mind over matter

Once you've comfortably concealed your love-lance, you need to get rid of it before suspicions are aroused. Have in your arsenal a list of images so deeply unerotic that they will immediately extinguish your ardour.
Choose your images carefully - it's surprising how innocent images can become strangely erotic under pressure.
Instead relax and let the moment pass.

VideoJug: How To Hide An Unwanted Erection

Arnie Calls 911

Most of them knew her as ‘ holy s**t!! ‘

Dog for Sale

Answers to the name of Dolly. Excellent guard dog.

Owner cannot afford to feed her anymore, as there are no more thieves, murderers, rapists or molesters left in the neighborhood for her to eat.

Have you seen this stunner...???

NSFW - Read more about this model, OK so you cant read Russian...no problem just enjoy the creation.

Life in the rose - An Illusion

Look closely to the center of the rose and you will see a couple kissing. Also pay attention to the wooden frame around the picture. It's impossible to construct !

Tail up and take a bow you sneaky lil fella...but tell me...how on earth did you manage to learn that trick?

Seriously, Guys, What the Fuck Is Wrong With You?

 

 

 

Jesus - Drawn in a single stroke of a pen

Web Credibility

Web Credibility - BJ Fogg - Stanford University

| View | Upload your own

These slides are part of a two-week curriculum on web credibility. There is also a step-by-step lesson plan that goes along with this. Contact bjfogg@stanford.edu for more info.

FAREWELL DUBE Friday, October 19, 2007

1964-2007

Saharan Vibe today mourns the sudden demise of Lucky Dube who was killed in an attempted car-jacking as he dropped his children off at a relative's house in the Rosettenville suburb of Johannesburg. The incidence occurred at approximately 8pm on the 18th of October. Police reports suggest he was shot dead by carjackers in front of his son and daughter. He is survived by his wife, Zanele, and his seven children.

I cant believe you are gone Lucky.

                                                                         RIP AFRICA'S REGGAE SON

http://saharanvibe.blogspot.com/

She said `toilet' . . . they said `ewww' . . . he said `goodbye' . What class are you?

Christopher Howse's tongue-in-cheek quiz

The sore questions of class are in the air again. Was Kate Middleton just too middle class for Prince William? Must the future Queen of England only be upper class? And just how easy is it to tell a person's class?

	The social snobbery lampooned in My Fair Lady is still thriving in upper-class circles

According to Daily Telegraph letter writer Andrew Baxter, you can tell instantly the class of people by using the car test: "A couple taking another couple out for a drive would sit themselves thus: working class, men in the front. Middle class, man with his own partner in the front. Upper class, man with the other partner in the front."

So which class are you? Settle the matter once and for all with a tongue-in-cheek quiz...

1 Has your house got:

a A name and number?

b A name of your choosing?

c A name from time immemorial?

2 Sitting over drinks, do you:

a Say "Cheers"?

b Say "Cheers" and clink glasses?

c Say nothing?

3 Are you more likely to take a seaside holiday in:

a Cancun?

b Scotland?

c The Maldives?

4 Would you follow the hunt:

a At a distance by car?

b With an anti-hunt placard?

c On your own horse?

5 At breakfast do you like:

a Bio yogurt?

b Pop-Tarts?

c Porridge?

6 Have you got:

a A patio?

b Decking?

c A terrace?

7 At your children's weddings, will male guests wear:

a Morning dress?

b Dinner jackets?

c Lounge suits?

8 Do you ask for the:

a Lavatory?

b Bathroom?

c Toilet?

9 Do you send your children to:

a An old public school?

b A church school near which you have moved?

c The local school?

10 After dinner, do you:

a Leave your napkin loosely on the table?

b Fold your napkin neatly?

c Roll your napkin and put it in a ring?

11 Do your children have:

a PlayStation 3?

b A dressing-up box?

c Trivial Pursuit?

12 If you can't hear a remark, do you say:

a What?

b Say again?

c Pardon?

13 If you want butter with your roll at dinner, do you:

a Cut it in half and butter it?

b Break it in half and butter it?

c Break it up and butter bits as you eat them?

14 Would you prefer to read:

a Heat?

b The Field?

c The World of Interiors?

15 Do you associate Jordan with:

a Breakfast cereal?

b Petra?

c Peter André?

THE ANSWERS

1 a 10, b 20, c 30; 2 a 20, b 10, c 30; 3 a 10, b 30, c 20; 4 a 10, b 20, c 30; 5 a 20, b 10, c 30; 6 a 20, b 10, c 30; 7 a 30, b 10, c 20; 8 a 30, b 20, c 10; 9 a 30, b 20, c 10; 10 a 30, b 10, c 20; 11 a 10, b 30, c 20; 12 a 30, b 10, c 20; 13 a 10, b 20, c 30; 14 a 10, b 30, c 20; 15 a 20, b 30, c 10.

If you scored:

Below 200 You are cheerfully lower-class.

200 to 300 You are uneasily middle-class.

300 to 440 You probably have a coat of arms.

450 You are the Duke of Devonshire.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/

Read More Stories on the BreakUp

Was it 'Toiletgate' that done for Kate?

The British class system is alive and kicking if some of the reports about the break-up of Prince William and Kate Middleton are true, says Jasper Gerard

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/portal/main.jhtml?xml=/portal/2007/04/17/nosplit/ftkate117.xml

Kate's got more class than those sneering snobs

http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/

You Said You’d Stand by Me in the Middle of Chapter Three

Racial slur on sofa label stuns family

Needed: good editor for Chinese-English dictionaries

Never mind what the shrimp did to the cabbage -- look at what another bad Chinese-English dictionary entry did to a sofa! Joel Martinsen has drawn my attention to a blog post by Jeff Keller (" A reeeeaaally bad translation", 4/10/2007) which in turn points to a newspaper article (Jim Wilkes, "Racial slur on sofa label stuns family ", Toronto Star, 4/6/2007) that starts this way:

When the new chocolate-coloured sofa set was delivered to her Brampton home, Doris Moore was stunned to see packing labels describing the shade as "Nigger-brown."

Apparently the sofa (or at least enough of it to provide the label) was imported from China, and according to Jeff Keller's blog entry, the translation provided for 深棕色 "dark brown" in many Chinese-English glossaries is "nigger-brown".

A quick Baidu search for that offensive adjective showed [that it's] mentioned all over the place as an acceptable translation of 深棕色, otherwise known as "dark brown." Four people on this Baidu forum give n-brown as the most preferred translation! They even give a link to a dictionary entry that supports this translation! I only saw one search result that cautioned against using that translation. Other companies come up on the search that officially use this word as well.

A google search turns up an old [1959] prospectus for a school at Oxford that describes the school uniforms as being n-brown. I can only guess that this used to be a widely used term, which carried over into China back in the day, and during all those years of separation from the west the dictionaries kept giving that as the proper translation. I suppose as a good netizen I should register on all those forums and try to make sure no one else makes that mistake again. But then again, when something gets ingrained in the Chinese system it can be damn near impossible to get people to change.

Perhaps the economic damage from angry overseas customers will have an effect that complaints from linguists don't.

It's easy to see how this offensive term got into Chinese dictionaries -- the OED's entry for nigger includes this section:

3. Forming nouns and adjectives denoting or designating a dark shade of a specified colour, as nigger-brown, -grey, -pink, etc. Cf. sense A. 11. Now rare ( offensive).

1915 Home Chat 2 Jan. 11/1 Nigger-brown cloth.
1922 D. H. LAWRENCE England, my England 116 She was wearing a wide hat of grey straw, and a loose, swinging dress of nigger-grey velvet.
1930 J. DOS PASSOS 42nd Parallel I. 124 On each table there were niggerpink and vermilion paper flowers.
1960 V. WILLIAMS Walk Egypt 89 A dry-goods store showed a dress of 'nigger-pink'.
1983 Listener 21 July 4/1 'It's a common phrase that is used throughout the land,' he said. 'And what about the colour nigger brown?'