"My Dad was at Woodstock with his first wife and conceived a child there. He then cheated on his first wife with my mother and later married her. He is now 72 years old and cheating on my mother with some drifter, piece of shit. Fuck Woodstock hippies and all their dumb, fucking bullshit! Oh, and take off that bandanna Dad, we all know you're fucking bald, you asshole! "