Humor

So a man walks into a bar and sees a huge jar filled with $5 bills on the counter...he asks the bartender "what's up with the Jar?"
The bartender says "well buddy, it is a little game we have here. You see, I have a horse out back. If you put $5 in the jar, you have a chance to go out back and try to make the horse laugh. If you succeed, you get to keep the jar."
The man puts $5 in the jar, goes out back, comes in 30 seconds latter, and asks for his money. The bartender goes to check on the horse, and sure enough, it is laughing hysterically. The man quietly drinks his beer, picks up the jar, and leaves.
The man comes back a week latter, and notices a similar jar sitting on the counter. When asked, the bartender says it is a new bet- "that damned horse hasn't stopped laughing since you left. So now you put in your $5, and if you can shut the horse up, you get to keep the jar."
The man puts in $5, goes outside for 30 seconds, and comes back in to claim his money. The bartender goes out, and sure enough, the horse is stoned cold silent. The bartender says "buddy, I'll give you the money. But first I've gotta know: how do you do that!?"
"Well," the man says, "when I was in here last week I told the horse that I had a bigger dick than him. Today I proved it."


A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees it's filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it. He approaches the bartender and asks. 'What's up with the jar?' Well, you pay $10 and if you pass three tests, you get all the money..' The man certainly isn't going to pass this up. 'What are the three tests?' 'Pay first, those are the rules.' says the bartender. So the man gives him the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar. 'OK,' the bartender says. 'Here's what you need to do ....... First, you have to drink that entire gallon of pepper tequila, the whole thing, all at once ... and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a pit bull chained-up out back with a sore tooth. You have to remove the tooth with your bare hands. Third, there's a 90-year old woman upstairs who has never reached orgasm during intercourse. You've gotta make things right for her.' The man is stunned. 'I know I paid my $10, but I'm not an idiot, I won't do it! You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila, and then do those other things ..' 'Your call,' says the bartender, 'but your money stays where it is.'
As time goes on and the man has a few drinks, then a few more, he asks, 'Wherez zat tequila?' He grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with big slurps. Tears streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face. Next, he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained-up and soon the people inside the bar hear a huge, noisy scuffle going on outside. They hear the pit bull barking, the guy screaming, the pit bull yelping and then silence. Just when they think the man surely must be dead, he staggers back into the bar, with his shirt ripped and large bloody scratches all over his body. 'Now,' he says. 'Where's the old woman with the sore tooth?'