Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Maybe he's a vagitarian.

A cooked hot dog garnished with mustard.

... so, here's the deal: tonight I totally freaked out my boyfriend and he packed his backpack and left (we've been living together for about three months). I'm not sure where he went or if he'll be back tonight (he took an extra pair or underpants) and he won't answer his cell or respond to my texts and I'm not sure what to do. I'm embarrassed to tell my friends so I hoped you guys could give me some advice (please!).
so, tonight we went to bed and we were fooling around, which is a pretty regular thing and I had planned a joke to play on him which is what freaked him out. we were having sex and I asked him to slow down and stop for a minute and he rolled off and we were kissing and stuff. the lights were out and it was pretty dark and I had hidden a piece of a hot dog (about 2 inches) which I had broken off before getting in bed. without him knowing it I grabbed it from where I hid it and inserted it in myself and we were kissing and I sort of encouraged him to go down on me so he was kissing his way down and then kissing my legs and then he went in and I kind of held his head and at first I think he was confused but then all of a sudden he like FLEW out of the bed and he was shrieking like I had never heard before and he fell backwards over some stuff and broke a lamp which scared both of us and I was laughing really hard at first until I realized he was still shrieking.
anyhow, I tried to tell him it was a joke but he was shaking and it all happened really fast and he just threw on his clothes and grabbed some stuff and left. (he almost caught his penis in his zipper when he was dressing -- it was awful.)
so, what do I do now? I'm really upset...