Friday, August 21, 2009

Red-necks should take metro-sexuals advice and wash their body more than once a week so they can get a girl with more than one tooth.

I believe in taking care of myself, in a balanced diet, in a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now.
I begin in the shower by exfoliating with a licorice scented 100% vegetable-based mud scrub bar made with dead sea mud, oatmeal, and glycerin to help clear impurities from the pores, smooth, cleanse, and moisturize my skin. I then lather with a citrus scented body cleansing gel. Little Robert Anthony wants to come and play.
On most mornings I use a glycolic facial cleanser that buffs away surface skin cells, leaving my skin smooth and ready for shaving. However, twice a week I substitute my normal cleanser with a special exfoliating facial scrub, which removes irrelevant skin cells, and frees ingrown hairs. The scrubs spherical beads roll over my face, cleaning and rejuvenating. Within the scrub, aloe vera and algae soothe, vitamin C nourishes and chamomile smoothes and refreshes.
To begin my shaving routine, I apply to my face and neck a small amount of pre-shave oil made of vegetable emollients to create slip for a smoother, easier shave, kola nut extract and chamomile to relieve inflammation, soothe and heal, bisabolol to calm and vitamin C to help protect skin from free radicals.
After the pre-shave oil absorbs into the skin, I apply either shave cream or gel with a traditional shave brush, crafted with molded chrome and featuring specially selected badger hair trimming. The brush warms the skin, raises hair for shaving and the badger bristles offer an invigorating morning massage that help to improve circulation.
I use a Merkur heavy duty double edge safety razor that is attractively styled with a hand-tooled, high-polish chrome finish. The solid and reliable grooming tool is heavier than other safety razors, for improved handling under extreme shaving conditions.After my shave, I rinse my face and generously splash on a mild astringent that tightens my pores and controls shine while soothing shaving irritation.
I then use an after shave balm which is a greaseless emulsion of natural plant extracts.Following my morning shower and shave, I dab a small portion of eye cream under and around my eyes. The cream has green tea and caffeine to reduce puffiness, cucumber extract and she butter to soothe, wheat protein and vitamin E which moisturizes and tightens the skin to reduce the appearance of fine lines.
There is an idea me, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping you and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there.