Today is another blue day. Just the way you wanted it. The skies are clear and the air is pollution free. Doesn't it make you happy? Or does a blue day mean something else to you? Maybe it's the making of a new friendship or a quiet passing into death or the total forgiveness of an enemy? Don't forget the taste of honeysuckle or the possible existence of an after-life. How about sex with an alien? Whatever you wish for, today's your day. Just ask the first talking llama you run into. Remarkably, we can now communicate with the sea. We understand why she has been so churned up lately. Off-shore drilling for oil has stopped and so has massive ocean dumping. By way of thanks, fish stocks are up in areas recovering from the 2004 tsunami and temperate weather has returned to the Caribbean. Mother Ocean is a friend again.World Prime Minister Gandhi appeared on the BBC and discussed the miracle procedure that brought him back to life. Gandhi is on his way back to India after a visit to the detained, former United States President George W. Bush, who now shares rooms with Saddam Hussein and the eagerly sought for Bosnian-Serb Generals, Radovan Karadzic and Ratko Mladic.
Prime Minister Gandhi is planning another round of discussions about the Intergalactic Freedom Charter that will incorporate the valuable teachings of all religions newly-phrased with the enlightening logic of Buddhism. The charter will be helpful in our collaboration with the residents of the Andromeda galaxy as we continue to perfect full-body transporter technology across the cosmos.
Consequently, marriages to extraterrestrials are up this year showing a widespread integration of species. Gender and race are disappearing at a rapid rate and prejudice indicators are showing their lowest readings in history. Another index is charting major growth in cyborg love. Man, woman and machine are now intermingling and intertwining. It won't be long before human brain space and emotional capacity will have expanded into electrical fields, phone wires and wireless Internet connections. Contacting loved ones is as easy as whispering into your fingertips.
Meanwhile, the hands of war victims in Sierra Leone grew back instantly after the application of soothing tonics. The tonics were discovered last month in a small pond created by a meteor in northern Greenland. Within hours, hospitals and doctors in all areas of crisis were able to treat and cure victims of civil war, famine, political coup d'état and government corruption. Aging has also slowed to a halt with people living well into their 300s.
World peace is the new craze. Military equipment manufacturers have gone out of business. Tanks have been converted into mobile homes. Aircraft carriers are proving to be great cruise ships!
Marking the end of terrorism, Osama Bin Laden rode the PATH Train into New York City accompanied by representatives from the New York City Police Department and the New York City Fire Department. Bin Laden placed flowers at Ground Zero.
Have you heard about the latest trend for making new friends this year? It's called "Talking Zebras." Just check out the new television reality show: "Talk like a Zebra." The show is topping the ratings across Central America and the Asia. But watch out, singing koala bears are all the rage in Tokyo, Japan. They've even formed a musical group, The Koala Five, with a music video and a number-one hit in Belgium. In sports, British Prime Minister Tony Blair and Chinese President Hu Jintao played tennis with the Dalai Lama and Nelson Mandela. During the match, President Hu Jintao declared Tibet free again. On a neighboring court, Che Guevara played with John F. Kennedy, Sir Winston Churchill and Confucius. Players were enlightened and empowered when Confucius removed all the nets. Ultimate Frisbee is an official Olympic sport.
In the world of entertainment, 239 people were tracked last week as they took part in the movie "City Finder." It's a new kind of movie where people eat a small candy with the entire movie inside. While chewing the candy, different flavors integrated with subconscious directions ask viewers, or eaters, to do different things. This way they experience the actions of the protagonist, Vince Namor, as he discovers the lost city of Atlantis. Local police were confused when one viewer hugged and kissed an entire neighborhood, while reenacting an epic scene. No more laws interfere with drug use. Marijuana is sold in convenience stores and at all duty-free shops. Funnily, enough, people also get high without drugs. Suicide only occurs with the freak occurrence of unhappiness. All other sources of illness and disease have been successfully defeated. Doctors continue to improve overall healthcare and have developed a new technique:They can now touch a patient's arm or belly with their hand and instantly diagnose the source of a pain or health condition. Insurance companies are no longer necessary and have turned their expertise to casinos where no one ever loses.
Curiously, a period of mass industrial reinvention continues. Factories have been fully integrated into their natural environments. Ecosystems and assembly systems are synchronized for products that are mutually beneficial. Trees and plants now work with humans to make products as diverse as wooden, solar powered cars and bird feather wetsuits. All automated factories have been relocated to remote, desert locations. Did you know that there are at least 46 different New Yorks to visit? There are also 1,200 Beijings, 203 London, 12 Omaha's and 24 Cape Towns. Multiple dimensions and time travel have opened up endless possibilities.
Go back and change something that happened last Wednesday or adjust the city you live in with one blink of the eye. See a Bombay inhabited by polar bears or enjoy Stockholm full of flying saucers. Consult your travel agent now. Yes, today is a blue day. Today, we live in the world the way it should be. So, get out there and make a wish. Demand a cure for AIDS. Shout out your love for pizza and parenthood. Call for an end to laws against nudity. Rebuild the ozone layer. Make yourself famous. Start a species upgrade. Take a seat on the moon. Or turn Darth Vader into a real person working at an ice cream parlor in Moscow. If nothing else, you'll find out if wishing is just the easy way to escape reality or the first, giant step toward creating a new one.
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