Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Frankly, We Couldn't Give A Damn About Valentine's Day

The Heartless Manifesto

Icy Checkmark!Do really sappy, insipid, "always and forever" love poems make you want to puke? (and that goes for Bon Jovi lyrics too!)

Icy Checkmark!Do you find typical "Women's Magazines" to be either stomach turning or pathetically laughable?

Icy Checkmark!Are you sick of people who have confused objectifying women as sex symbols with female "empowerment"?

Icy Checkmark!Are you tired of the walking wounded moping around expecting that the world owes them something because they are victims?

Icy Checkmark!Do you find the likes of Michael Bolton and Kenny G. revolting?

Icy Checkmark!Does the sight of an incredibly handsome man turn you off, because too many of them have room-temperature IQ's, and obnoxious or non-existent personalities?

Icy Checkmark!Are you sick of lazy women who use emotional and sexual manipulation to get what they want instead of using their own brains and muscles?

Icy Checkmark!Are you fed up with women who feel they HAVE to be in a "Relationship" in order to be whole, and will sacrifice their self-esteem and personal growth in order to avoid being on their own?

Icy Checkmark!Are you tired of men and women who are emotional children , and won't accept responsibility for their actions or behavior?

Icy Checkmark!Do you want to SMACK women who play "helpless" just to gain male attention and stroke male egos?

Icy Checkmark!Have you run out of sympathy for your Female friends who continually whine about how awful MEN ARE, but then they keep dating the same kind of ASSHOLES, over and OVER, AND OVER AGAIN!?

Icy Checkmark!Are you fed up with your Male friends who are looking to date a woman with the appearance of a supermodel, and yet they continually whine about how "women don't like nice guys - they only want good-looking assholes"?

Icy Checkmark!Do the words "If you REALLY loved me...." turn your heart to ice?

Icy Checkmark!Do you retch in response to "The Rules"?

Icy Checkmark!Have you HAD IT with people telling you that you are TOO LOUD, TOO ASSERTIVE, or TOO OPINIONATED?

Icy Checkmark!Do you wish you had a button that said: "Thank you for sharing, now SHUT UP and quit Whining!" ?

Icy Checkmark!Are you utterly uninterested in pathetic individuals who seek attention by whining in their online "journals"?

Icy Checkmark!Are you sick of guys who hit on you and you politely decline, and they keep pestering you and pestering you, and pestering you like some obnoxious, festering, pus-filled sore, until you finally have to WHAP them over the head with a VERY LARGE CLUE-BY-FOUR (tm)....?

Icy Checkmark!Do you feel like you might as well "get hung for a sheep as a lamb", because no matter how POLITELY you try to turn down some guy's advances, you invariably get called a "Bitch"?

If you answered YES to all of the above, then Heartless Bitches International wants YOU. Heartless Bitches is now recruiting! Join up and be proud to use phrases like:

    "Keep it in your pants, asshole"
    "Oh why don't you just masturbate and get over it!?"
    "No, you can't watch."
    "Wah, fuckin', Wah."