Saturday, September 10, 2011

Can we all agree to call him Rahul Gandu ? Please ? Please ?

“I provide leadership as a brand ambassador, not by taking a stand on issues” Rahul Gandhi on Lokpal.

Rahul Gandhi, who finally spoke at length about corruption on the floor of the house, further clarified his views on this pressing issue during a short, informal interaction with our reporter outside Parliament during the lunch break. Here are excerpts.

The Unreal Times: Rahul ji, what took you so long to finally break your silence on corruption and the need for a strong Lokpal?

Rahul (looking chuffed): Well, I usually like to stay above the fray and let Pranab da and Manmohan Uncle deal with such crises. But yesterday, I overheard some Congress chamchas saying that perhaps it is time to look beyond me and project Priyanka as the new heir apparent. Some people even went as far as saying that Maneka Aunty should be made the new Congress chief and Varun Gandhi the heir apparent. Uske baad to meri phat hi lee. I knew I had to do something quick.

The Unreal Times: Fantastic. You said you like to think before you speak. What was your thought process leading into your intervention in Parliament?

Rahul: I thought really hard about who should write my speech. Lot of people gave me very good suggestions. Chidu uncle gave me some points about why arresting Annaji was perfectly legal. Sibal Uncle gave me another draft which states why corruption results in zero loss to the nation and is therefore not a big deal. But I needed some fresh, original ideas which would make me look cool.
Finally, Jairam uncle convinced me to accept his draft which I read out in Parliament almost as it is. I applied my mind only to one para which said that we also need to bring back people's money stashed away in foreign banks. I got that deleted as that has nothing to do with corruption.

The Unreal Times: In your speech, you said that giving in to Team Anna may set a dangerous precedent? Care to elaborate?

Rahul (with a confused expression): Umm...did I say that? Well, Pratibha Aunty is such a sweet and nice President and if agree to the Janlokpal bill, we might get some one more dangerous... er... let me get back to you on this. Need to check with Jairam uncle about what exactly he meant by those lines.

The Unreal Times: No, no we did not mean President... never mind. Why don't you take a more active role in dealing with such crises since you are expected to take over from Dr. Singh soon?

Rahul (angrily): I just don't understand why people expect me to have an opinion or intervene in every crisis that my Government has to handle. I provide direction and leadership to the Government as a brand ambassador and party mascot. Since when did brand ambassadors start managing the companies they represent? Is Abhishek Bachchan responsible for the quality of service that Idea provides?  Does Mickey Mouse decide which movie Walt Disney motion pictures should produce next? Guys, please get a perspective on this issue.

The Unreal Times: Are you worried that Team Anna members like Kejriwal and Kiran Bedi have become the new youth icons?

Rahul: Not at all. I have told my own team called Team Rahul to launch a new marketing campaign. I will dress up as Gandhiji and visit urban households in UP Tier II towns and listen to their problems. This will prove that I am the pre-eminent practitioner of Gandhigiri, not Anna Hazare.

The Unreal Times: Hmm, that's deep. Thank you Rahulji for talking to The Unreal Times. And good luck for your forthcoming padyatras. {Via The Unreal Times}



AUG 26, 2011
TV Grab: Congress General Secretary Rahul Gandhi speaks in the Lok Sabha in New Delhi. Breaking his silence, Gandhi asserted that Lokpal Act alone will not help eradicate corruption and appeared to disapprove Anna Hazare's fast, saying "individual dictates" must not weaken democratic process as dangerous precedent could be set. Agreeing that "corruption is pervasive" which operates at "every level", Gandhi said in the Lok Sabha that a set of effective laws along with creation of an statutory institution of Lokpal like the Election Commission would be required to fight the malaise.

Here are some comments in the media in response to Mr.Gandhi's speech.

'What "dangerous precedent" is Mr. Gandhi warning us about? That if you do the right thing today, you may have to do the right thing again tomorrow? '
'It is disgusting to see that not only the new hair-apparent is being groomed in Congress, but a new set of sycophants as well. Apparently they all are hair-apparent on their own too.
The Scindias, etc were no where to be seen during this whole Anna Domini. But as soon as "my lord" spoke, they pooped-up as well.
Shame, shame, shame'
'We were definitely expecting some concrete plan of action from Rahul when it was announced that he was going to speak in parliament.The 'future PM' was finally going to lead from the front,we thought.But what a disappointment! Rahul read out a prepared speech in the question hour and was only pontificating to us that 'corruption' had be there and he can bring in a Lok Pal thro an amendment of constitution(when a simple law is appearing an uphill task,whether an amendment of constitution will ever go thro?).By suggesting this,he was seen later saying that his was a 'gamechanger idea'.What gamechanger? This has been the game of all non-doers in Indian polity.Divert the thought from pressing need to a distant mirage and confuse the people.This time,the people of India were not taking this. We expected some more intelligence and commitment from a person,who is being shown to the world as India's future PM.By this single act(he would have been better off it),he has shown his immaturity,lack of knowledge of public mind,his difficulty of speaking anything of substance without reading from a prepared text.He is not suitble for being the PM,as it appears.'
'I doubt if Rahul understands what he says ... Why did he have to read out what he said .... He could have spoken like Varun and yet made all these points. In any case I think this was a diversionary tactic that boomeranged, badly. I shudder to think what will happen if is made PM'
'Why do we even bother to care about what Rahul Gandhi says? What political exprience does he has? How many portfolios has he ministered? His only claim to fame is that he was born in the Gandhi family and consequently he thinks he has the birth right to lead the nation. He has not earned his stripes and until he does so, who cares what he says!! He is not my leader and never will be.'
'Rahul Gandhi is a guy projected by sycophantic Congress supporters as a future leader of India. I must say say he is quite brazen for a 40 year old who has not done a day's hard work in his life and has been living like a king sponging off the country's resources.'