Here is selection of 3 posts during the Mumbai terror attacks on 26/11 For the rest visit his blog at http://fcubic.blogspot.com/
MONDAY, DECEMBER 1, 2008,
Aargh Aargh Pott Hill and his ilk....
Once upon a time in a small clean hut on a hill of saboodana vadas a little manoos was born to Mr. and Mrs. Pott Hill.Little Aargh Aargh had no penis and had a small pair of balls which hung like apologetic limboos. With this handicap the young lad grew into a squat ugly fuck who thought that it was normal to squirt lemon juice every time he watched the local tamaasha.
His hatred for women and men with penises grew and he vowed to get even with the world.Aargh aargh studied the local literature and imbibed the vibe of the motherland till he soiled his pants regularly. He was the state record holder for the number of puran polis he could stuff up his arse.Filled with the local snack he would longingly watch his neighbour Mughda play with herself and felt his lil balls vibrate. One day he though to himself I must scissor her....Later in jail for trying to scissor his neighbour Aargh decided enough was enough., He bought himself a slingshot, a pair of khaki shorts and set of to Bombay where lo behold he found a set of people in his image. Over steaming cups of tea the dip shit from the heartland vowed to turn the seedy metropolis into the spitting image of his home town Bhyenchothnagar. In time the young idealist became a powerful man oos only aim was to make Bombay a clean city where people could not party, have fun,fuck,attend rock concerts,drink alcohol,smoke etc.He wanted to introduce people to the joys of kho kho, mallakhamb,scissoring,puran poli arse stuffing galas,and other such manhoos pleasures. He now wore virginal white and lingerie from Kaustubh Nalawde exclusively. He shut down bars and scissored bar girls till he was blue in the face, he was the MAN...., Then one night in November a group of men from Valhalla arrived in Bombay in boats of rubber. They shot my brothers in the streets,in hotels, railway stations and maimed my city in the most cruel and barbaric way possible.Bombay was grey for 62 hours and will be hostage for a great deal longer. [Read on]
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 2, 2008
A day in the life of war/terror journo.....
Kaboooooom kabishhhhhhh brrrk frrraaaaaat !!!!!Claaaaaaaaaang booooooom!!!!!!!!!!
Barkha: Excuse me are you hurt? Is that your cock? put it back for later!Are you choking with emotion to see splinters coming out of your mum`s arse?
Victim: Hey fatty thats a nice butt....Just saw Kasav coming at me and he flashed me and started shooting just because I laughed. Mummy just bent over to pick her toupee out from under Dad who copped it and just got her bum riddled the old girl is smiling she`s fine,get up mum its the fat bitch from NDTV ,stop shuffling!!
Whooooosh!!!!!frrrrrkt eeeeeeeeee ooooooooo!!!!
Barkha: Oh fuck cameraman sorry its the food at Leo`s man the chilly beef too much soda.Just pan away from me you retard I have a wedgie have to dig it out with my teeth.
Bang bang boom boom wham wham!!!!!!
Barkha: Thats one of them, fuck he`s hot,get a close up !!we`re on air? Bharka here on National Dyke TV I have just seen one of the terrorists. He`s wearing a blue langot which says `Kuber` hes got the cutest eyes and a big bulge in his pants.He is now jumping into the heritage block on his toes ever so gently.Pan to the left and theres another hes mounting the statue of JRD Tata woweeee this is so graphic.Hey pass me my jacket can`t let them know I`m flat chested quick!!
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSHHHHHHHHHH
Barkha: Thats the Trident on fire now and theres a slight sense of alarm in the air. There are a couple of Polish men waving their sausages at me ,this is really spiffing!!! Excuse me are you a chef is that mozarella you are saving wow what a strong man you must be.Hello is that your real hair? its slightly singed you`re on NationalDyke TV..What do you mean I `m blocking the rear entrance cant you be polite?Theres a plume of smoke from the other building now someones baking cookies yummmy .....[Read on]
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 3, 2008
Candles and cake.......
Hey chutiyas, other than boosting paraffin sales what in God`s name have we accomplished?In the true tradition of a bereaved state WE THE PEOPLE have lain to rest our dead dressed in white while stopping for cake and wine on the way back.....WE HAVE TO STOP PAYING OUR TAXES YOU PRICKS,not dressing up like Casper`s gay cousins and screeching into microphones in an incoherent cacophony. The poor pandus must have had their balls in a twist trying to control us passionate people some without make-up (fucking hideous you filmstars are man!) and all with a distincly different agenda.My friends say `Man what an incredible feeling` a line I used when I shagged for the first time . After the whites were gone the limp aftermath was reality.
The parties abounded on the way back from the candle march and mark my words after snorting a few lines and sending back copious quantities of booze, this will amount to fuckall.Will we without exception volunteer to help usher in military rule? If not fuck this tirade and lets cut to the lighter moments of WE THE PEOPLE at St. Xavier`s college my daddy`s alma mater.
Simi: Helleeeo Barkha you pear shaped reporter!! I`m appalled at whats been happening and pledge my sagging tits in support of whatever you want to do.
Barkha: Thats so generous of you Simi I`ve pledged my ass too,never had any tits....[Read on]
