i'm repeating myself, but that's ok. i've been here for so many goddamn years i actually have perennial posts now. what follows is the somewhat annual snubbing of mother's day.
when the kid was little, i let her give me shit she made out of macaroni or construction paper in school. i'm not going to refuse a nice gift, particularly when it was made under the direction of teachers who went on and on about how important mother's day is, and how much i will love what she made. that continued through like fourth grade, so seven years including pre-k. it came along with awkwardness on my part, not wanting to make the kid feel unappreciated for something she did for me, but at the same time, really, really detesting what mother's day is about. gradually i started to say things like, "if you don't have time to make me anything this year, it's really ok." but she always did. it's really pushed hard in school, fundraisers are timed to coincide so that when she got too old for the macaroni masterpieces, she could still buy me flowers or books i'd never read.
last year i finally just said it, "please don't participate this year. if you want to do something nice for me, let's do something another day, but i hate mother's day so please don't get me anything." she consented, regretfully. i thought she'd be relieved. i thought that selecting something for me from a selection i'd never choose from was as torturous for her as it was for me as a kid, racking my brain for what my mom reads, listens to, is generally interested in.... and coming up empty because my mom had no time for interests outside of mothering her kids, so i never got to know her.
therein lies my hatred for mother's day, in a nutshell. it's not that it's a "hallmark holiday" where an empty gesture is made just because everyone else is doing it, or that it's consumerist crap, but what's marketed and bought into by the masses. it's flowers, a meal "so you don't have to cook," a manicure, and of course cards.... it's all vapid, meaningless shit that the mother has to pretend to like because you put in the effort, but that ignores who she is as a person with tastes and preferences and standards... basically it's a day when mothers are dissed in a special way, and they're expected to lap it up, feign pride and gratitude, and basically make a day out of kissing the kids' asses, and tell them that we "feel appreciated."
essentially.
and it's also the consumerist shit too. spend for the sake of spending.
when really all it is, is a day when people throw a bone our way to make them feel better about being inconsiderate shits with respect to our time, our privacy, our attention, it's a day so that people can feel entitled to walk all over mothers the rest of the year.
anyone who wants to make me "feel appreciated," can simply back off and not place unreasonable and inconsiderate demands on me, every fucking day of their lives. they can live with the understanding that just because i live here and i'm the mom of the house doesn't mean they're entitled to my time and attention the instant they want it, and understand that i'm a big girl who made the adult life choice to become a mother, knowing more or less what the job entailed. so the best way to "appreciate" me doing that job is to just do yours and let us all get over our fucking selves.
lavish me with spectacular gifts on my birthday.
since i had a kid, i hated mother's day. luckily, i have pretty much what i need to "feel appreciated," and don't need any tokens on a bullshit day to make up for a miserable life the rest of the year.
but the kid told me yesterday she doesn't care what i want, she's getting me something this year. case in point. {Via}